Ode to the Single Girl

After a very average Friday night date with Bachelor # whatever, I finally drag my lazy self out of bed on Saturday morning, o.k., it was early afternoon. I had a big day planned. The Yankees were playing the Red Sox at Fenway…playoffs on the line…so in my very comfy pjs, I make a pot of coffee and settle onto the couch for a few hours of quality t.v. time, when…what??? …the game…I can’t find the game…THE GAME…the one I planned my entire Saturday around…it was nowhere to be found…an investigation ensues…panic is in the air. Then the inevitable… the realization that the game is not going to be on…hmmmm…. What am I going to do now that I do not have 3 hours worth of Derek Jeter to watch? Sit on the couch for another hour contemplating the answer to that question…I know…I’ll go running, or clean the house, do laundry? Who am I kidding…there is only one cure for this kind of day ruining disappointment…do we have any guesses??? Come on people…this is an easy one…Do any of you know me…yes, you in the back??? Right!!!! Retail therapy is correct. So, sitting on the couch for another hour trying to motivate to go to the mall…remembering those really cute black boots I saw…when the phone rings.

Mav: Hello
Married Friend: Hey Mav!!! [Reality Police: Married Friend refuses to call you Mav and actually said Hey ________ (censored by the content police)] What are you doing?
Mav: Oh, the usual…writing the great American novel while coming up with a plan to end world hunger…[Reality Police: MAVERICK!!!] (Mav: Ok, ok…) I am sitting on my couch trying to motivate to get ready to go shopping. What are you doing?
Married Friend: Running errands. (Aka, being productive)
Mav: Great! (quickly changing the subject) What did you do last night?
Married Friend: Stayed home with husband and child. Made a great dinner, listened to lots of music, drank nice wine…just the three of us.
Mav: (thinking…sounds terribly boring) Wow, that’s nice. Sounds like fun…
Married Friend: You should try it sometime.
Mav: (Sarcastically) Yes, I will try it next Friday with my good friends me, myself and I.
Married Friend: (Laughing)

So that got me thinking…is being single really all its cracked up to be? I mean I do get to sleep until just about whenever I want…do whatever I want to do, whenever I want to do it, spend as much money as I want without somebody telling me I have to budget…don’t have to answer to anyone but myself…sounds pretty good. Or does it? So, married friend’s husband was in town last week for work playing the role of single guy. Walking around D.C., with two beautiful woman on each arm (don’t be alarmed…one of them is me and the other is my very uninterested friend)… Complete with alligator shoes, long furry animal print coat, gold teeth, bling, bling and diamond studded walking stick…calling us his bitches and introducing us to all his doctor friends as Mav and Boa. (Boa and I actually very excited thinking that perhaps there will be some good looking single doctors around…) Ha ha ha…throwing drinks down our throats or was that my own doing? Hard to say. Point is that he gets to play the role of “single guy” out on the town…while his wife is home running errands and taking care of baby. So I ask him…don’t you miss this shit…being able to come and go as you please, not having to worry about kids and well you get the picture… No he says. I actually don’t miss it at all as he excuses himself to go call his wife…Now that as they say is devotion. So I wonder, where does this instinct to couple come from? And why, if the single life is so great do we crave the security of knowing there is always someone to come home to? When does a Friday night at home with your spouse and kid become more fun than playing the single role as described above? I think it is a lot like the rivalry between the Yankees and the Red Sox. The season comes down to the wire, it could go either way. They finish neck in neck…actually the exact same record…but the Yankees clinch the division because in the head to head they hold a slightly better record. And we all know how big a Yankee fan I am.