I've Learned...

Ok people who read my blog, all 3 of you...here you go. So, no more complaining, whining, pleading, begging or feet stomping. Here is your damn blog entry...and don't be disappointed. [Actually, Boa just asked in passing...when are you going to update your blog?-Reality Control] {Hate those reality Nazis...always raining on my parade- Mav} Anywho...my mom used to say that when I was a kid...anywho? What? and this was always after she licked her thumb and attempted to wipe whatever junk I had on my face...Yuck! {Note to self...never do that to my kid}... The past several months have been quite the learning experience...so in no particular order here are a few things I have learned:

1) I am a piece of work. Why? Because all my friends think so...Listen
Scene: Tampa, FL. circa about 6 weeks ago...
Ring Ring...Mav: Hello
Boa: What's up Maverick...Just calling to wish you good luck on the bar exam. What are you doing?
Mav: I have a date tonight!
Boa: Are you f***king kidding me? You have only been there for like 5 minutes...
Mav: I know! His name is HSBF and he is so cute...
Boa: You are a piece of work

Scene: Same as above, except Mav lounging in her room with HSBF
Ring Ring....Mav: Hello
Bf: Hey....I'm just calling to wish you good luck on the bar exam.
Mav: Thanks....hold on (whispering to HSBF)
Bf: Who are you talking to?
Mav: Oh that's just my HSBF...we just met. We are studying together.
Bf to husband....: She has a boy in her room...Unbelievable.
Husband in background: Good work Mav!
Bf: You are a piece of work!

And so it went...I hung out with my High School Boyfriend for two days...we studied together, we ate together, he carried my books...literally! I guess the bar exam wasn't so bad after all. Maybe we will end up going to Prom! I think I still have my hot pink taffeta dress. (It was off the shoulder) wink, wink.

2) Muppets do not exist just on t.v.
I haven't taken a standardized test in a very long time...the last time for me was before you even had to use a No. 2 pencil, so I was unfamiliar with all the "new standardized testing" protocols. For example...you must use a No.2 pencil. Not a No.1 or a No. 3, but a No. 2. And you must use the No. 2 pencils that are provided by the bar examiners...And people, if you know anything about me, you know that I am very particular with my writing implements...I have "my pens" stashed in a very safe place (you need a map and a decoder ring to find them) so nobody uses them...And I only use a certain kind. I am peculiar like that. Come to think of it I am peculiar like this and like that...Hehehe...(evil little laugh)...
But seriously...the muppets, oh the muppets. I thought muppets only existed on HBO (remember Fraggle Rock http://www.fragglerocker.com/media/audio/Theme_(Original).mp3)

(Love that Uncle Traveling Matt)

I just had a nostalgic, back in the day, when I was a young girl moment...how sweet. However, back to reality, as my 33rd birthday quickly approaches, we return now to this very special edition of Bizzarro Mav World....

Now, when we last left fair young Mav she was in Tampa taking the Florida Bar and being "a piece of work." Oh, right, you are wondering about the muppets, right? Well, again...I am unfamiliar with the various rules of standardized testing...I suppose there was some sort of rule book published and distributed, but everyone knows I do not deal well with published materials or rules for that matter. Some may say I march to the tune of a different drummer, I however would say good luck getting me to march at all. Part of my overall charm I might add, but I digress. Anywho?!? (My mom was just here, rubs off)... there were these really weird people monitoring the bar exam...they wore smocks in primary colors, like the kind they made you wear in kindergarten during art class, and they walked around while you are taking the test and just looked at you...they looked like muppets. I was so freaked out, after the morning session of day 1, I say to my HSBF...what's with those...and he says "muppets?" I almost got down on one knee and asked him to marry me...{Woa...slow down there Tonto...I always thought YOUR fairy tale ending started with HIM on one knee asking you to marry him, preferably with a larger than 2 carat platnum set diamond ring-My mind} [o.k., o.k., relax...whose world is this anyway?-Mav] Hate Muppets.

3) I Do Not Really Want to Move to Florida

The weather is fantastic. I love the beach. I probably have sand running through my veins. My Bf lives there. In my book, that would be reason enough. However, just spending 24 hours in Tampa where the population is 49% red neck and 49% senior citizens, with the other 2% muppets...I felt so out of place. I mean where the coolest place to hang out was a bar called Howl at the Moon and the best restaurant was Bennigans...yea, no. I think it is probably a great place to raise a family and o.k., if you are married and just looking to go out for a nice dinner every once in a while. A single girl....belongs in the city! So that is just where I am going. We are moving in less than a month to Penn Quarter and I literally cannot wait.

4) You Can't Have Your Cake and Eat It To

If that were the case D.C. would have beaches and great weather just like Florida...My bf would live in the same city as me and I wouldn't have had to take another bar exam to make it all happen. I'm learning to live with it. But I hate it. I really do.

5) Even if I Fail...Its not the end of the world

Yea right!

Happy Easter.