Is Getting Stood Up Ever o.k.?

So last night Richie Rich and I were supposed to hang out….or so I thought. He did tell me he had to go to a birthday party at 7, and that he didn’t know what time he was going to get out of there….and I did say that if it was too late that we could always do it next week….but….he didn’t call until 10:15, at which time I had already called for back-up (Goose and Boa) and fixed myself a very stiff drink (Captain and Diet Coke)…I mean if Mav was going to get stood up twice in one week by two different guys…the red wine would simply not do. I mean what is this…some crazy bizarro, think Superman, type world?? This is Beyonce we are talking about... reminds me of some song lyrics…”Everybody hurts….” That is complete horse shit. The stress of trying not to be That girl….you know the one who whines and complains that nobody likes her and then turns into this bitter man-hating fire breathing bitch. Thank god for the rest of Destiny’s Child…they believe this is just a fluke. Like maybe I inadvertently walked under a ladder or perhaps some invisible black cat crossed my path. Note to self…mission for the weekend….reverse Karma. Anyway, back to the “pseudo” stand-up by Richie Rich. How would Gloria Glad deal with this? Would she be as accepting as Goose and Boa? To Mav; Goose: “I don’t think it sounded like your plans were solid. It sounded casual and he let you know up front he had something to do,” Boa: “yeah, don't be mad at him yet.....he needs to do the proper date thing at this point though. Which sounds like next week is better for him on that front.” Whose side are you on anyway girls?!? Mine of course….But all agree that the phone call should have been placed way before the cavalry was called in and the drinks were being poured. Richie, you only get one more chance. Don’t blow it….cause that’s how Mav rolls.

Sleeping in Your Clothes is Not Just for the Beach Anymore

I know it was Wednesday and after all I only went over to have my pants hemmed...but there is just something that makes us want to drink our faces off when we get together...its not just with Boa, its with Goose, and HMG, and anyone else who gets me out of the house. You get the picture. That coupled with the unlikely dumping of myself by A1 in a way that is beyond Sex and the City, think circa Carrie getting dumped on a post-it, which would have been nicer than how I was disposed of...and this from the guy who just 2 weeks ago told me he was in love with me and then re-affirmed by proclaiming to "own his words." Hey, that's my phrase, I own everything...he definitely stole that from my bag of tricks...confirming his asshole-ish nature and need to get a life. Perhaps he should talk to God about that. So, back to the Wednesday night drink fest...complete with slurred words, drunk dials and drunk e-mails...of course no drunken night would be complete if we didn't blow up Goose's phone, which we did...or without sleeping in our clothes...which we did...or smoking like a chimney....which we did. The funniest thing about last night was that we weren't in Dewey Beach, we were in Arlington, VA but it was still a heck of a lot of fun.

This Could Be An After School Special

Here is the A1 story (in a nutshell)... girl meets boy...girl really likes boy and it seems like boy really likes her too... girl is very busy when she meets boy because she is a v.i.p. (kidding)...but seriously girl is very busy because she is about to be in trial for two weeks in Federal Court (A VERY Big Deal in girl's line of work)...girl sees boy whenever possible...girl also has planned a vacation for after trial and is a FULL SHARE in a beach house for the summer...girl tells boy all of this...boy encourages girl saying how terrific it is and how happy he is that girl is having fun and one night after a few drinks tells girl he is in love with her...Boy becomes jealous of girl's friends and annoyed that girl is busy...girl and boy have a conversation where boy is being very judgmental and religious (tells girl he talks to God about her)...girl becomes annoyed at boy because girl is 1) not so religious, i.e., doesn't usually talk to god unless it is an emergency and 2) starts to see how boy and she may have very different feelings about things like s*x (none until marriage-- !#*#! #!!!##$$#$$ exclaims girl...say it ain't so); friends (as in he thinks girl is too close with hers... if boy only knew); family (boy thinks family means your blood relatives...girl knows that can't be right...Has boy met her god son?); people who are different (boy seems disgusted by people who lead alternative lifestyles...girl has left those immature judgmental opinions in her twenties). I could go on but I said "In a nut shell." Anyway....back to the story... girl invites boy to the beach for three days, but due to a breakdown in the scheduling process, girl double books (remember Orlando?)...girl breaks the news to boy who cannot quite contain his brewing annoyance with girl's busy schedule...girl doesn't like boy's tone so puts on her best bitchy attitude and boy doesn't like that either...In compromise, girl invites boy down to the beach the weekend before she leaves on her business trip (after confirming of course that neither Richie Rich nor BGA would be there...this is girl's problem with her celebrity status)...boy comes to the beach and is acting very strange...i.e., grills girl's friends about her (they were not happy about this interrogation); gets really, really, really drunk and leaves girl at a party without telling her he was leaving and then mysteriously returns and hovers in the background watching girl until one of girl's friends exclaims.. "Hey isn't that boy over there?" Girl shakes her head and takes him home where drunken boy NOW wants to have s*x with girl, who was not having it especially when sharing a room with Boa and her most recent hook up. The next day boy is so hung over he barely says two words but asks girl to take a walk on the beach with him at 9 a.m. Girl rudely declines (she too is hung over) and boy leaves "to go check his car" and is gone for over an hour, apparently eating breakfast alone. Boy and girl leave the beach and talk several times on the way home...boy asks to see girl on tuesday night...girl must decline for work related reasons but tells boy he can still come over and hang out to which boy declines for dog related reasons. girl is leaving the next day for a business trip and boy tells her he will e-mail her while she is gone...boy doesn't call and doesn't e-mail for the entire time girl is in Florida. Upon girl's return, she calls boy who, instead of returning her phone call sends her an e-mail the next day asking if she was busy that evening. Girl says no, what did boy have in mind? Boy said drinks, girl counters with dinner (I'll cook), boy declines, girl asks why, boy has no good reason...girl consults with her girlfriends who conclude that boy wants to break up...girl's not happy and will not make it easy for boy to do this...girl persists in trying to find out what boy's motives are by sending him two more e-mails and calling him...girl guesses boy got annoyed and confirmed her earlier suspicions because boy did not respond to her e-mails or her phone messages...up to and including this very moment. Girl can only conclude that boy does not want to see her anymore. So that's it....in a nutshell....stay tuned for any updates.....